I got my haircut today and no matter what I tell any haircutter I've been to for the past ten years, they always cut my hair to look like this:
It's like it's a big inside joke between all hair cutters. "No matter what she says, make her look like Velma! It will be so funny!" Now I have to try to fix it and it will look better than it does now, but not so good overall. I don't think I have ever in my entire life had a good haircut. I remember when I was in seventh grade and wanted to trade in my long hair that I wore in a french braid everyday for a really cool Farrah Fawcett/Stephanie Powers hairdo.
Something between this:
It's like I was saying "Farrah Fawcett" and they were hearing "tight perm in a mullet." I think of all the bad pictures of me ever taken, which is about 93% of the pictures ever taken of me, this has to be in the top 10.
From that bad haircut, I tried and tried to grow my mullet out into something Stephanie Powers-y and I was having no luck. My mom would give me perms and no matter how much I BEGGED her to use bigger rollers, she always used the ones that were the circumference of a pencil. TIGHT.
This is high school. I think tenth grade. LOOK AT THOSE EYEBROWS! The mullet is a little less mullet-y, but the perm is still tight. I remember I liked getting a good point on the top. This was a good hair day. Kind of a baby Stephanie Powers.
Oh, finally, the mullet is gone. The sides are the same length as the back. The perm isn't too curly. But it's still no Farrah Fawcett.
After high school I let the perms go and embraced my stringy, thin, stick-straight hair. I still had bad haircuts. I remember one that I kind of liked and kept for a long time but then I learned that my sisters were calling me Lord Farquaad behind my back. And in front of my face.
Lastly, I found something the other day that I really like. If I was Oprah this thing would be on the episode "My Favorite Things!" Here it is:
SALT AND PEPPER SHAAAKKKKEEEERRRRRSSSSSS!!!!!! Everybody gets one!!!!*