Monday, October 25, 2010


I got my haircut today and no matter what I tell any haircutter I've been to for the past ten years, they always cut my hair to look like this:

It's like it's a big inside joke between all hair cutters.  "No matter what she says, make her look like Velma!  It will be so funny!"  Now I have to try to fix it and it will look better than it does now, but not so good overall.  I don't think I have ever in my entire life had a good haircut.  I remember when I was in seventh grade and wanted to trade in my long hair that I wore in a french braid everyday for a really cool Farrah Fawcett/Stephanie Powers hairdo.

Something between this:

and this:

But I got this:

It's like I was saying "Farrah Fawcett" and they were hearing "tight perm in a mullet."  I think of all the bad pictures of me ever taken, which is about 93% of the pictures ever taken of me, this has to be in the top 10.

From that bad haircut, I tried and tried to grow my mullet out into something Stephanie Powers-y and I was having no luck.  My mom would give me perms and no matter how much I BEGGED her to use bigger rollers, she always used the ones that were the circumference of a pencil.  TIGHT.

Aw.  The mullet is a little longer, but still pretty tightly curled.  Looks like I forgot it was picture day that year and only wore a polo shirt instead of plastic beads and a furry sweater.  I bet that really chapped my ass.

This is high school.  I think tenth grade.  LOOK AT THOSE EYEBROWS!  The mullet is a little less mullet-y, but the perm is still tight.  I remember I liked getting a good point on the top.  This was a good hair day.  Kind of a baby Stephanie Powers.

Oh, finally, the mullet is gone.  The sides are the same length as the back.  The perm isn't too curly.  But it's still no Farrah Fawcett. 

After high school I let the perms go and embraced my stringy, thin, stick-straight hair.  I still had bad haircuts.  I remember one that I kind of liked and kept for a long time but then I learned that my sisters were calling me Lord Farquaad behind my back.  And in front of my face. 

I just figured something out.  "Lord Farquaad" sounds an awful lot like "Lord Fuckwad."  Do you think they meant to do that?  Holy cow, what else have I missed in Shrek? 

Lastly, I found something the other day that I really like.  If I was Oprah this thing would be on the episode "My Favorite Things!"  Here it is:


*just kidding


  1. I ALWAYS get the "Mom" haircut! It's like the Scissors cannot help themselves...

  2. When I see these pictures I just want to squeeze your the dimples :)

  3. I actually like these pictures and the hair-dos. I could never get my hair to look like that ever. It is WAY too thin.

  4. You know, you DID rock the permed look, despite your dislike.

    I personally thoroughly enjoy the plastic beads and furry sweater. You MEANT 1987* and no one was gonna get between you and that. (*year is approximate).

    I did notice the eyebrows immediately, but that is because I am a freak and I am obsessed with eyebrows as I grow mine to gargantuan proportion to be "fixed" by a self-proclaimed brow expert. (I'm sure THAT will be another blog post for another day).

    Anyway, L.F., you rock it out no matter what. Thanks for the blog comments, much love.

  5. holy shit, i just laughed HARD at all the school photos and matching captions. something may or may not have flown from my nose in the process.


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