Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The new math

My kids and I invented a fun and educational new game we call Child Abuse Math. It's totally sick and they love it! It started with me holding Kira's hand and telling her that she had to tell me what three times two was. I wouldn't let go until she told me. She told me that if she gave the wrong answer I had to squeeze harder. (SHE told ME that)

She gave the wrong answer, I squeezed harder, she flinched and laughed and laughed and then gave the right answer. Sam heard the fun and wanted in on it. He literally shoved his skinny little forearm into my fist and said, "Give me one!" So I asked him to tell me what three cubed is. He said nine, I squeezed, both kids squealed with glee and pain and then he gave me the right answer.

Then I started making up word problems like, "If you have 28 teeth, and I give you a roundhouse kick to the face that knocks out 9, how many teeth do you have left?" They were in hysterics. What is wrong with these children! Then I asked Kira, "If you have 32 liters of blood, and I beat 8 liters out of you, how many liters of blood do you have left?" I thought she was going to pee her pants she was laughing so hard! I think I've stumbled onto something big here!


  1. LOL!! what the heck is a roundhouse?

    I think this kind of teaching was featured in Angela's Ashes in Catholic School Ireland. The students there weren't as "cup half full" as yours.

  2. I tried this with Sid she didn't seem to like it. But of course she didn't know any of the answers. I'll keep at it until she does.

  3. A roundhouse is a kick where the kicker stands with his back to the kickee, lifts his/her leg as high as it will go, and then jumps, spins in mid air and lands a wildly painful foot in the kickee's face (or other targets too, I suppose) ala Chuck Norris. It takes a LOT of practice.

  4. Beth, keep it up, consistency is the key. She'll get it!


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