Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Sport rant

I was thinking about sports today, and I'm not a fan. (Although I love watching the olympics. hmm...) My whole family and all my in-laws are in love with hockey. I was thinking, in general about different sports today and I think hockey is the third stupidest sport. Football is first, by far. Any sport where you know there's a better than average chance that you'll become crippled, either from an immediate snap to the neck or from arthritis later in life, is idiotic. That's just a fact. Hockey is the third stupidest because in order to play, you have to have a special climate controlled building (expensive) so you can freeze a sheet of ice and then strap sharp blades to your feet (dangerous) and go slide around on it and chase a puck with sticks. As a parent it's no fun for me because I can't actually see my kids. They are hidden behind about 40 pounds of padding and clothing to keep them warm and to protect their bodies from the rock hard ice, and razor sharp blades on everyone's feet.

There is a whole hockey culture that grates on my nerves too. The parents are super fans. I kind of feel bad for not being that in to my kid's activities. (sorry honey, I'm just not that into you) The moms run the concession stand at the local rink every day. The first year Sam was in hockey one of the moms called and left a message on our machine telling me my volunteer schedule for the concession stand. I don't think they really get what volunteer means. The dads flood the outdoor rink every night. They do it in shifts so each shift has to do it about two or three times a week. During games the parents come totally decked out in the team colors or in team jerseys and jackets and sweatshirts, and they scream and cheer and ring cowbells. Yes, I said cowbells. Why? I'm flabbergasted by it. It's not like that in soccer. The parents all go, but they sit on the sidelines and make jokes like, "So, what DAY do you think this game will end? Ha ha ha." Hockey parents never do that, and a little tip - they don't like when other people do it either. Oh, and the locker rooms in arenas STINK.

The second stupidest sport is figure skating, for all the same reasons as hockey, but without any protective gear for the scantily clad little darlings doing spinning jumps with blades on their feet. Hello concussion! Nice to meet you!


  1. Hey, football not stupid am! Ooh, gots I to sit down, has headache...

  2. wonder where Sam gets his nervousness?


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