Summer vacation is too long.

The kids are driving me nuts.  Today I got into an argument with Sam in front of my mother-in-law because he was going off on one of his "I am thirteen therefore I know everything and I will share my vast stores of knowledge with you in choppy non-sequiturs" rants about how all Apple computer products come with self-cleaning screens.  My MIL just sort of nodded her head like, "whatever you say" but for some inexplicable reason I rose to the bait.  I wanted to say, "You just made that up in your head and now you are spouting it as truth, Sean Hannity." but I didn't.  I made the mistake of actually saying, "No, Sam, they don't."  So then he, in his teenage way, took this as an affront to his intelligence and burgeoning manhood and decided on a full-blown argument.

Sam: "Haven't you ever noticed when you lick your finger and touch the screen, it gets clean in a few seconds?  IT'S SELF CLEANING!" 
Kira: You LICK your iPod?
Sam:  Kira, stay out of it, I said when I LICK MY FINGER!
Me:  No, sorry, you are wrong on this one.  I have an iPod myself and clean the screen manually (like a total sucker.)
Kira: Remind me not to touch his iPod.
Sam: Kira SHUT UP!
Me:  Kira, go play outside.
MIL:  Well, I better head home.....
Sam: I'll prove it!

Sam then marched off to his room and retrieved his iPod to show his grandmother and me what happens when you lick your finger (with a dramatic flourish) and rub the spit on your iPod.  The spit evaporated and he said, "SEE!"

Then the neighbor kid came over to play with Kira.  She has decided she's sick of him and tries to weasel out of playing with him by telling him she has "chores."  I said, "If you don't go outside and play with Kolten, you actually will have endless chores until you go to bed, now please, for the love of god, GO OUTSIDE!"

I really admire women who can do all their mothering and household chores and also have fun activities planned to entertain their children every day.  I don't know how they do it, or how they can put up with the kids' attitude that whatever you planned for them could be just a little bit better if only... (insert complaint here). Like when we took them to Rainy Lake last weekend to spend two fun-filled days with their cousins and uncle swimming, knee boarding, etc. etc. and then they had the GALL to pout about leaving on Sunday instead of Monday.  That striving my kids have for me to do just a little more for them than I actually do is what kills any desire for me to attempt to entertain them toward the end of August, other than to repeatedly offer them ALL OF THE OUTDOORS FOR THEIR PLAYING PLEASURE ALL THE LIVE-LONG DAY.