It's my birth week

I got up early this morning because I was pretty sure I had a sub job teaching fourth graders.  About ten minutes before I was supposed to leave, I just happened to go on the computer to make sure I had everything right, and discovered my job for those particular fourth graders isn't for two weeks.  "Oh great," I said to myself, "what a perfect waste of an early morning shower!"  So after I dropped Kira off at school, and endured her laughing and mocking me, ("Look who's all dressed up for work!  Look who's wearing her fancy shoes!  Ohhhhh too bad, no job for you today.") I decided to get some things done that I've been meaning to do.

The first thing I did was go to the DMV to get my license renewed.  See, the early-morning shower wasn't a total waste!  I was expecting to be there for an hour or so but it was actually pretty fast.  It only took about 10 minutes!  I think I may have actually taken a cute picture too.  Oh who am I kidding.  It probably looks like this:

Close enough!  Then, since I was close, I went to Lens Crafters to see if I could get in for an eye exam.  I could.  My prescription changed, of course, so I have to get new glasses.  At the very end of the exam the doctor looked at my paperwork and said, "Okay, let's try one more thing, and then he put a card with tiny writing really close to the super specs and said, "Tell me if this is better," and he had me look at the card, "Or this," and he did one click and I saw crystal clear perfection.  Nice work, Doctor!  Then he said, "You're ready for bifocals!"  I said,

"WHAT???????!!!!!!!"  

Then he said, "My daughter is about your age, you know, forty, and she ne-"  "Excuse me," I interrupted, "I'm not forty until next Wednesday.  Let's not push me into the grave too soon."  So he let the bifocal issue drop, "Until next time," he said.  Then he put dilating drops in my eyes and sent me into the store to look at frames.  While I was going blind from the drops, I picked out some frames that at the time I really liked.  I don't remember what they looked like now.  Things were blurry.  Probably not the best time to pick out something that's hundreds of dollars that I'll be wearing on my face every single day.  They'll be ready in a week!  I went back for the rest of my exam and then they sent me home with some cute sunglasses. 

My eyes are still dilated.  I joined a book club and tonight is my first meeting.  I can't read and I look like I'm high.  Get ready to be impressed, ladies!  Here's my pupils:

You know what was uncomfortable?  Having a flash go off two inches in front of my dilated pupils. 

Next week:  Mammogram!