Monday, March 26, 2012


I was out of town for the weekend, visiting with family and old friends. I got up this morning to work what I thought would be a super easy day. It was a job for a second/third grade split class, which would normally be hard, but I know/(knew) for a fact that there was an excellent student teacher in that class so I thought I could breeze through the day listening to the occasional crazy story and helping individual kids with math or reading.  Well, the student teacher has strep throat so she was gone.  It was all me today.  It was fun, but exhausting.

I've been working so much or been gone, so I have totally ignored anything domestic for over a week.  That fucking laundry really piles up.  I don't know why but lately the sight of piles of dirty laundry makes my blood pressure rise and makes me actually ANGRY.  I feel like David Banner.  I see damp towels, and inside-out pants, and dirty socks all over the laundry room floor and I can practically feel the seams of my purple pants ripping and my skin turning green.

I need some more goddamn Downy AAAAAHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGG!
I never liked doing laundry before but now it actually makes me mad.  Stupid clothes, getting dirty, day in, day out.

Kira's path of destruction also makes me angry lately too.  I shouldn't be able to come home and see everything she has done and every place she has been based on the litter she has left behind, should I?  Is it too much to ask a 12 year old to pick up her own shit?  I found two flute-o-phones in the bathroom today.  TWO!  My latest domestic peeve is the fact that she leaves her dresser drawers hanging open with clothes draped out all over the place.  I've been telling her for months and months to SHUT THOSE DAMN DRAWERS! and still they are left open.  The other night around midnight I was going to take her book off her sleeping face and give her a little kiss, and when I walked in I accidentally ran into the open bottom drawer.  HUUUUULK MAAAAAAAD!

I flicked the overhead light on and said, "GET UP!" I think she probably thought the house was on fire or something.  When I was finally able to wake her up and drag her ass out of bed and tell her to SHUT HER GODDAMN DRAWERS she looked at me like I was a crazy person.  I upped the crazy by telling her that if I see them open like that again I'd take the dresser.  She looked at me like I had finally lost my marbles and carefully asked what she would do with all her clothes if I took her dresser (also implicitly asking where I would put an extra dresser), as if I hadn't already thought that through.  I actually hadn't thought that through.  I hadn't thought any further ahead than causing her some inconvenience and annoyance.  So I guess the consequence of her losing her dresser would be piles of her clothes all over the floor.  The very thing that causes my total hulk-like irrational rage.  Also, I'd have an extra piece of furniture cluttering up my house.  What kind of a corner have I painted myself into?

Let's all hope she keeps her drawers shut.


  1. Laundry is my favorite chore. (Vacuuming is least.) And I thought we were so close.

  2. My 12 year old son does the exact same thing with his drawers! When I go cray-cray like that, there's a tiny sane part of my brain that knows I'm acting like a nut job. But it's usually too late to turn back.

    And in case I'm not clear on just how crazy I was, my 6 six year old will innocently remind me at dinner the next night. "Mommy, remember when you were sooooooo MAD at P yesterday?"

  3. My husband leaves his drawers open. They are usually empty with a pile of socks by the side of the dresser because he says he can 'find them easily' if they are there. What kind of crazy husband logic is that?!

    I do envy that most of your dirty laundry is contained to the floor of a purpose room though. My husband just leaves his clothes where he takes them off such as bottom of the bed or bathroom. A couple of days ago I found three dirty socks down the side of the sofa. THREE! Where is the 4th? I bet one of the dogs finds it when I have company over!

    Oh I'm in 'Abi Smash' mode.

  4. No one but me in this house closes drawers.

  5. Sweet Jesus, girl, you are preaching to the choir! My 10.5 yr old is an absolute disaster in all areas, and her room is the bane of my existence! I, too, have gotten her out of bed(which is no easy feat as she has a "hochbett", which is 6ft high and uses a ladder to get into it) to put shit away as I refuse to clean her room myself anymore.

    My husband always says 'don't make empty threats unless you can back them up", ie make sure that what you threaten, you have an answer for. Been busted a million times and it makes me even more angry to get burned by a about HULK!!

    The drawers will be shut for about a week, then she will forget, because she thinks now that you've had your freakout, YOU'LL forget...Good luck!

  6. Cheer up. Too soon she'll be grown up and gone and you'll miss those open drawers and piles of laundry!

  7. Just take the drawers out.

    BTW I have been trying out your 1-2-3-4-5 tactic with Sid...At 5 I take away a toy...she doesn't like it but I always get to 5 so now I have a huge pile of "thrown away" toys in my bedroom. What now?

  8. Sarah: Vacuuming is not so bad. I like the noise and the results.

    NumberWhisperer: My kids remind me of my outbursts too. It's embarrassing but I have to act like it was totally rational. I bet they will have some doosy stories to tell when they grow up.

    Abigail: You're due for something crazy. He's a grown man so you don't have to worry about stunting him emotionally. Get Hulky!

    Ma: No kidding! What is with that? What is so hard about shutting a drawer?

    Stacie: If Kira had a Hochbett I think that night I would have gotten an ax and chopped down the supports. Your hub is right about follow through. They will call every bluff. Little shits.

    Eva: I know, but I will never miss the piles of laundry. Never.

    Beth: Good idea just taking the drawers. Take the toys to Good Will. When my kids were little they thought Good Will was a person and that he was a total selfish dick.

  9. you have to instill fear and terror into the kids - that's the only way they do anything. bless you for having them. i'm too busy taking care of myself to even think about adding to the mix.

  10. Since my kids are grown, I only have to deal with my husband leaving his clothes all over the house. Now that I think of it, he's worse than my kids ever were!

  11. I had the same issue when I was a kid and what I came to realize through the help of my mom was that I couldn't stand not knowing what clothes were hidden inside my not-transparent dresser. We got a mesh wire dresser and suddenly I was able to SEE everything. Will that help?

  12. Simone: We instilled fear and terror into our kids at an early age and now they are practically perfect, other than the dresser thing. Sure, they might be emotionally scarred, but they are nice to be around!

    Sandy meet Abigail (above), Abigail, meet Sandy.

    Anbeban, I think Kira is the same way. I have considered labeling every drawer but there's only three and socks and underwear are in the top, shirts are in the second and pants are in the bottom. She already knows what's in there. Good suggestion though.


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