Friday, March 2, 2012

I'm Clean

You know what?  Upon review of my last two posts I realize I may have inadvertently led you to believe that I am disgusting.  I want to assure you that I am not.  Just because I don't wash my arms as some kind of sick habitual practice doesn't mean my arms have never been washed.  I distinctly remember last summer after a day of gardening my arms were quite dirty.  Let me assure you that they got a solid scrubbing after that!  I don't walk around with obviously dirty arms.  In fact, my arms don't even see the light of day for all the months between October and April.  How could they get dirty?  They don't.

As for my dusty wood stove:  I have no excuse for that other than I hate dusting so I never do it.  Well actually, I do when it gets noticeable, but what's the point?  It's all going to get dusty again anyway.  I wiped off the woodstove after I noticed Sam had written on it.  That was yesterday.  I bet it's dusty again already.  It just never stays dusted.  I guess I have a problem with menial daily chores because much like the dusting, they're never done.  As soon as I get the last piece of laundry folded and put away, someone strips something off and throws it in the laundry room.  Even as I'm unpacking the two hundred dollars worth of groceries that I just bought and hauled, someone is in the refrigerator getting a snack.  As soon as I get the bathroom spotlessly clean, someone literally shits on my hard work.  LITERALLY.  So I suppose not washing my limbs (or dusting, or cleaning the oven) is my quiet way of protesting against all the stupid chores that we all have to do everyday just so we have clean things to wear, good things to eat and nice places to poop.

I am quite finicky about some things.  My refrigerator is always clean and there is never any old food in it.  I clean that regularly because of the obscene amount of hair that ends up at the bottom, under the crisper.  (Where does that come from?!?  It's so gross it haunts me sometimes when I am lying in bed trying to go to sleep.)  In fact, my whole kitchen is pretty clean (except the oven), and my house is usually picked up so at a glance you would see it and think I'm tidy and clean.  I am tidy, and if you don't count dust or oven grime or limb dirt, I'm clean too.

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