Stiffy

I had book club again last night.  I haven't had that much fun in a long time.  Probably since last month's book club meeting. 

One of the ladies told a story about how when she was a girl sitting at dinner with her family, she asked the question, "Why do people alway say, 'Ward, don't be so hard on the Beaver' and why is that so funny?"  Nobody would tell her.  Later when she learned the hilarity of the double entendre she was mortified that she had asked her parents, and incredibly grateful that they didn't tell her.

Another lady said when she was a teenager, again sitting down at dinner with her family, she told a joke that she had recently heard.  Everytime she heard someone tell the joke it got a big laugh, but she didn't really get it.  She told the joke to her parents.  "What is better than roses on your piano?  Tulips on your organ!"  And then she laughed and laughed, pretending to get it.  Her parents gave her a courtesy laugh and quickly changed the subject.  She says when she was older and thought about it, it dawned on her that she told an oral sex joke to her parents and she didn't even get it.  Mortifying. 

This brings me to something Kira did lately, and when she thinks back on it in five or ten years she will be mortified and tell her book club all about it.  She had one of those long balloons like clowns use to make balloon animals.  She blew it up and to be funny said, "I made a balloon animal.  It's a snake."  Then she waved it around a little and said, "It's kind of a stiff snake.  I'll name him Stiffy."  And then she went up to Mitch and poked him relentlessly and kept saying in a deep growly voice, "Hey Mitch, say hi to Stiffy.  Stiffeh.  Stiffeeeeehhhhh!" and then she said something about Stiffy only having one eye and, "Hey Mitch, look into Stiffy's one eye and say hi!"  Mitch tried to stifle his laughter and thought it best to try to ignore her so she would stop poking people in the ribs with her balloon phalus and yelling "MY NAME IS STIFFEEEEHHHHHH!" and eventually she did. 

I hope I am around when it dawns on her how inappropriate it was that she blew up a balloon, named it Stiffy, and ran around the house poking her parents, grandparents, and brother yelling out "Say hi to Stiffy!"  I really really hope I can see her face when that happens. 

Stiffeeeehhhhhh

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