Oh, my poor guts

I bought Brach's peppermint nougat candy for Valentine's day this year because I didn't think I liked it as much as other candy. Turns out I love it. I've eaten oh,... I'd say about 75 pieces of candy today and my stomach is now gurgling and producing unbelievable amounts of gas and is kind of crampy. I bet this is because that particular candy doesn't even resemble anything close to actual food, and I've been eating the equivalent of peppermint scented candle wax all day, although I don't think that candle wax would produce quite so much gas, or coat my mouth with scuz that is almost the consistency of gum. Now I can't even go anywhere. I'm just going to have to sit here and expel gas and suffer through the stomach cramps until I feel better in a few hours, and then (I just know I'll do this) I'll eat more of the candy.