Today I had to go to the laundromat because my dryer broke, but I didn't know it broke until I went to fold what I thought would be clean fresh towels, but were actually putrid, disgustingly smelly towels. So I took all the clothes to the 'mat so I could start fresh. That has nothing at all to do with my post for the day, so you can totally disregard it. I don't know why I wrote it, I just thought you should know.
Anyway, when I got home from the laundromat, I sat down with Mitch in his office to tell him about the dryer and the towels and so on, and he was watching an old episode of Kojak. I think that is the first episode of Kojak that I have ever seen. It is a weird show. Somehow, Telly Savalas, that man in the picture above, is supposed to be kind of sexy?, I think? Really, 1970s people? He's sexy? Apparently so because when I looked for pictures of him to put on the blog, there were a lot to choose from and many MANY were of him without a shirt on, which is a lot like any generic creepy grandpa without a shirt on.
In this particular episode, Kojak was looking for a near-sighted rapist running rampant on a college campus. It was anything but scary, because the rapist had on the thickest glasses I have ever seen a human wear. That actor must not have been able to see anything while they were filming. I'd like to see that blooper reel. I bet there was a lot of tripping and that guy saying, "I have a headache!"
So the big finale was when the near-sighted rapist was chasing a girl backstage in an empty theater, and Kojak caught up with him, but not before Old Four-Eyes could grab the girl and put a knife to her throat. Then Kojak said, "You better put that knife down or I'll take it from you and go from being an experienced cop to being an inexperienced rabbi!" Okay, disregard the awkward sentence structure and just think about that. I'll give you a minute.
Mitch and I stared at each other in awe. What in the hell was that supposed to mean? Was he trying to confuse the near-sighted rapist? As far as we can tell, he means that he would take the knife and circumcise the guy. But, do rabbis do that? I think I learned on Seinfeld that it's a mohel that does circumcision for those in the Jewish faith. Also, what a strange threat, "I'm going to circumcise the crap out of you!"
Well, it worked, Rapey gave up the knife and was taken into custody and then Kojak went outside and talked with the girl's father, but it was hard to concentrate on what he was saying because he put a foot-long cigarello in his mouth and when he talked it would jump all over the place.
It made me totally forget about my dryer troubles.