Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Negative Nelly

Did you know that was a saying, Negative Nelly? I just looked it up because I'm feeling so very negative today. Mitch pointed out that many of my recent sentences start with "I hate..." So I think I'll just make a list of all the things I hate lately, and then I'll concentrate on being more of a Positive Polly starting tomorrow.

I hate winter
I hate snow
I hate cold
I hate wisdom teeth that don't fit in your mouth but come in anyway and squish all your other teeth together
I hate the snow plow, (but I also love the snow plow)
I hate subbing for kindergarteners (but I love kindergarteners, just not being in charge of them for more than 5 minutes at a time)(because they're crazy)
I hate being torn
I hate jaw pain that radiates into your sinuses and gives you headaches that no amount of Advil can relieve
I hate the guy on the radio today that said that when he hears people call music "funk" he re-educates them and tells them that it's really soul music.
I hate Mario Lopez
I hate how dirty my car is
I hate shoveling
I hate getting up before dawn
I hate being beaten at Mario Kart
I hate Michael Buble
I hate that I'm going to have to schedule an appointment with someone (ideally a doctor of some kind) to dig around in my skull and fish out my impacted wisdom teeth
I hate running out of milk
I hate when my glasses get dirty
I hate the phrase "a lick and a promise" yuck
I hate when I tell someone that I hate something trivial and they say, "It could be worse! You could live in Haiti!" Well, no shit.
I hate hockey
I hate that the laundry is never JUST DONE ALREADY
I hate nostril scabs
I hate when I forget to make the kid's lunches until 11:30 at night, every single night
I hate wet socks (no duh, who doesn't)
I hate dry skin
I hate that I can't wear my robe in public
I hate the word lavatory (there's no lava in there)
I hate all these snowmen mocking me constantly
I hate that all my pants have shrunk ( shut up)
I hate turtle-heading
I hate neck zits
I hate running out of Diet Coke
I hate that song (you know the one)
I hate being a grown-up
I hate when I say that I hate being a grown-up and someone says, "Well, what's the alternative?" Being a kid, you idiot.
I hate squash
I hate caraway seeds
I hate the lady judge on So You Think You Can Dance
I hate the male judges on So You Think You Can Dance
I hate that show So You Think You Can Dance
I hate knowing that there is a chewed up Hot Tamale somewhere on the floor of my car because it fell out of Kira's mouth
I hate Ted Bundy
I hate John Wayne Gacy
I hate the word crux
I hate the word cusp
I hate when guys try to dictate where their jaw line is by shaving beard jaw-lines halfway up their face
I hate when people yank my chain
I hate even thinking about litter boxes
I hate even thinking about hemorrhoids
I hate how hard hemorrhoids is to spell
I hate how negative I am
I hate this list

Okay, from now on nothing but sunshine from me.


  1. If you hate being a "grown-up" you can come back home and live. One condition ..... you have to bring your kids.

  2. Oooh. I love hate lists.


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