Sunday, February 28, 2010
Some observations on men's ice hockey
I just finished watching the U.S/Canada gold medal game in the Olympics. (BTW, congrats, Canada, good game.) Anyway, I was struck by a few things while watching. I'm used to watching either Pee Wee boys, or 10 year old girls play, and men play quite differently. First of all, it's a lot faster. In fact, so fast that I had a lot of trouble following the puck. This makes the play by play by the announcers all the more impressive. Their brains work so fast! They must be geniuses. (I'm serious)
Another thing is that none of them wear face masks which makes me think that men think it's cool to lose teeth. Hey guys, it's not that cool. I see that they wear mouth guards, but that is not going to prevent a puck that's going 100 mph from smashing through all of your front teeth.
There was also a lot of spitting. More spitting than I've seen in any other sport. Why are they spitting so much? No wonder they are so thirsty. You never see a figure skater spitting on the ice. Maybe that's why they don't wear facemasks, in order to have more spitting freedom.
My last observation was that they are constantly racing from one side of the rink to the other. That has to be tiring. Why don't they pick a position and stick with it? My friend Tonya did this in gym class and she was the all-time highest gym-sport scorer in the history of FHS (this is a totally anecdotal guess on my part. I don't think anyone actually keeps those statistics.) She would stand right next to the goal and wait. Usually the goalie was Joe, who was the star hockey goalie on the school team. I bet Tonya made more goals on him than any single other person.
Here's Joe and Tonya in their soccer positions:
Here they are in their floor hockey positions:
Here they are in their ice hockey positions:
Here's Tonya making a goal in soccer:
Here's Joe's reaction to it:
He has just jumped onto the chain length fence that surrounds the field and is shaking it to get his rage out at being scored on by Tonya for the 500th time.
Here he is after she scored on him during ice hockey:
He's hanging off the boards and shaking them and screaming. Tonya made more goals than anyone, her team never lost and she never broke a sweat running around like a fool. I hope she got good grades in gym.