Wednesday, August 26, 2009

I've got the dizzies

I am having another minor bout of vertigo. I had it last year and it was major. I could hardly stand up and I was nauseous and throwing up. I went to the doctor and she gave me anti-nausea pills and a motion sickness patch. They made me fall instantaneously asleep which was sweet relief unless of course I had to drive anywhere. She also told me that the cause of it was particles of stuff that glom on to the free-flowing cilia in the inner ear and then when they can't free flow because of the crud, they send messages to your brain that say, "THROW UP! NOW! DO IT! THROW UP!" It lasted for about 4 days, so I stumbled around and forced myself to stay awake and I got through it, but it was misery. (Actually, day 1 was kind of fun before the nausea hit. Like going to the fair.)

The doctor also told me that physical therapy has proven effective. The therapy is sitting on your bed and throwing yourself from side to side as fast as you can, and throwing yourself backwards as hard as you can, in order to free the cruddy stuff sticking to your cilia. This time the vertigo isn't so bad, I think because as soon as I felt the first waves of dizziness last night in bed, I sat up and threw myself backwards about ten times. Mitch didn't know what the hell was going on, but whatev, I think it works. This morning I sneaked out to the trampoline in order to jump the crud free, but Kira spotted me and insisted on jumping with me. I didn't want to lose my front teeth on her head, and then be toothless as well as dizzy, so I declined her generous offer of trying out her trick for "making me bounce super high."

Later Mitch is going to help me by pushing me around on the bed really hard. (Don't be a perv! It's physical therapy!) He can push me a lot harder than I can throw myself so I think it's more effective. I bet abused wives never get vertigo. Silver lining! (I already regret writing that. I'm sorry.)


  1. LOL so hard I think I woke Jay up and he's upstairs.

  2. Bwahahahaha!

    Feel better, dude. You poor thing.


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