Wednesday, August 12, 2009

My computer is a needy drama queen

I was sitting here, minding my own business, watching LOLcats videos on Youtube, and my computer made a tiny snapping noise, and then went black. I picked it up to see what was wrong and it was hot. Really hot. Then I got to thinking, "Oh my god, ...what if my COMPUTER IS BROKEN!" Calm down, there are other computers, I told myself, and if all else fails, I have my iPod that can browse the web. (I love you iPod) Then I started thinking about all the information I have accumulated on this computer over the last few years. TONS of stuff. Pictures, music, videos of the kids that can never be replaced. Like the time I told them they wouldn't get lunch unless they danced and sang the chicken noodle soup song in front of the camera. Oh, wait a minute, I have that on facebook. And I have most of my really good pictures on my iPod. And the good kid stories are on this blog, and on the main computer in Mitch's office. Then I thought, so what if the stupid computer wants to break! Go ahead! I don't need it anyway! And I stomped downstairs to stem the panic with a little TV.

After a cooling off period, I came back upstairs. The computer was cooled off. I was cooled off. I turned it on and it worked. No problems. Just a screen that said, "The system shut down because it got too hot because it was sitting on the couch and couldn't vent properly, and if you really cared about it at all, you would take better care of it, like you take care of the PRECIOUS IPOD that you love soooooo much. And would it kill you to take it places every once in a while? The Coffee Cabin? The library? You know, like the old days. All it ever gets to do is sit around here and stare at the same four walls. And since we're finally having this chat, what is with all the Facebooking? Get a life! And clean the system's damn screen. How is it suppose to see anything with all this filth on it!? You better start treating the system better or the system will show you, and show you good! The system is going to bed!"

I said, "Whatev," got a disc and backed up all the important stuff. Then I tried to go on Facebook, and what do you know, it isn't working! The "server" is down. Yeah, right, the server is down, I can get Facebook on my iPod! Isn't it the same server?

I have never had a fight with a computer before, but I can tell this is going to get worse before it gets better.


  1. Oh, also, I can't scroll unless the computer is sitting on my lap. It just won't scroll otherwise. TO THE MOON, COMPUTER! TO. THE. MOON!

  2. Have you ever watched "Nick Burns, the company computer guy"? Check it out on you tube.


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