Wednesday, January 27, 2010

My hump

I've been swimming a lot at the Y lately. Yesterday I did 2000 yards, which is about a mile and a quarter. Impressive huh? I loved it so much that I didn't want to get out but I knew if I didn't my arms would be like noodles shortly after, so I got out. I decided to get myself a new swim suit so I don't have to wear the mom-cut flowered suit that I got for 10 dollars at K-mart last summer.

I went to a sporting goods shop and got a super cute practice suit. I was debating about the size and I decided on a size bigger than I wore in high school. That should work, right? Sure. I got it home and tried it on. I had to check the tag to make sure of the size when it got stuck at mid thigh. The size was right, it must just be a little snug. Right..... I got it all the way up and looked in the mirror. My back looked like a ham under the cross-straps, and my butt was so very very compressed that the design on the suit was stretched to the point of turning a little white-ish. I have decidedly more junk in my trunk, as they say, than I did when I was 17. Who knew? (shut up, Mitch)

I was so disgusted with myself that I returned it today and bought a new purse instead. My ass will never be too big for a new purse.

To all my bitches at the Y: You're just going to have to keep getting your asses kicked by me in my mom-cut suit, and if a boob falls out, too bad.

NOW I get why there's a skirt on those suits!


  1. And what is wrong with a floral "mom" suit? You, after all are a mom of a teenager. I do not have a skirt on my suit.

  2. I'm considering getting this printed on a tshirt: "My ass will never be too big for a new purse".


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